If you quick change into your thermal evasion suit in the grocery store beer cooler if you set the place on fire as you run all green and flop mossy out to your hovel or bunker,

If you paint sharp angles and extra eyes if you crust down colorful bangs, tattoo obscure markings across your face if you smell unapproachable,

If you ask passersby for change, aggressively or while crying, if you have a skin disorder,

If you dance through mountain passes twirling a black umbrella overhead and hurry, hurry,

If you pin strobing LEDs on hat brim and jacket if you fake a limp,

If you tame 4 or 5 deer and run with them on hands and feet, caked in mud crowned by stick antlers across a dusky plain,

If you sand the reflective surface off a license plate if you pick up an old hitchhiker and ask them to drive while you sew yourself inside the backseat,

If you start digging now to build a subterranean squat if you evolve to resemble the naked mole rat (even more) if you hold your breath,

If you sport Groucho glasses and a clown wig if you rollerblade everywhere whistling discordant tones,

If you install privacy widgets and promptly remove your typing digits,

If you smash your fucking phone and forget your name,

If you only move in the interstitial unthinkable or under a dense canopy if you eschew sunlight,

If you always have a dark cloud overhead if you wear photo flash reflectors like giant upturned collars,

If you place an explosive charge inside a copper coil and detonate it where the electromagnetic emissions will reach a drone, or better yet Al Udeid Air Base in Qatar or Ramstein Air Base in Germany or Creech Air Base in Nevada or the NSA if you reach a Googleplex or your local police station or really whatever,

If the event is so heavy it causes irreparable anomalies on the timelines,

If you don’t talk about things like that if you have nothing to hide if you misread Kant if you do your duties,

​ If you spray paint your body silver and replace your eyes with mirrors your voice with static, If you blur yourself into one smudgy pixel,

If you drill a hole in your head and fold a tinfoil hat, if you practice levitation and then drop everything,